One of my ultimate fear (besides ghosts and anything furry) is to be abandoned. I had always had this fear that anyone would one day wake up and decide that they don't need me anymore.

I am not what I look like. I am not sophisticated, put-together, hardworking, patient or fun all the time. I have my days where I speak like a typical Ah Lian and behave like an aunty, I have days where I just don't want to do anything even if I have a whole lot of duties lined up, there are days where I snap at every little thing- like that pile of laundry that's in the way and there are days where I cannot take any jokes.

But, not everyone is going to leave. There will be someone who will accept your flaws. They may not be entirely happy or comfortable with your flaw but they will try to accept them because they want to stay in your life and they know that you are worth so much more than what you portray on social media. They know that if they want you at your best, they need to accept you at your worst.

You don't have to hide who you are just because you are afraid of people leaving you. Worthy ones won't leave you just because you are imperfect. They will know that it is normal to have flaws. They will tolerate, help you build a better you because they believe in you and you are not made up of or defined by your flaws. They'll be the Victoria (Beckham) to your David (Beckham).

It is okay if you have anxiety. You're afraid and they'll understand that it is okay to be afraid because it is impossible for someone to not be afraid of anything. It's okay to be nervous, it's okay to not have the courage to do anything. It is okay. You don't have to be afraid that they'll leave you because you're afraid to take the leap because they won't leave you. They'll stay by your side and be your pillar or support for when you're ready.

If they're really worth your time, they won't leave you because of your imperfections.

I am still afraid that one day, they're going to turn their backs on me and leave me. I am still afraid, but we all need to believe that not everyone will leave. Deep down I know that not everyone will leave because I know that I am more than my imperfections. It is the same for you and everyone else. You're more than your imperfections and not defined by your failures.

You're Flawsome,
You're worthy of someone's time and effort.
You're going to have someone that'll never leave you.
Not everyone is going to leave and you need to believe in that.

Love,
Jiawen xo