When I was younger, at the age where friends around me were starting to get into relationships the first thing my mother told me was, don't let guys put their hands up your skirt, don't let them touch you anywhere and all those along that line. That was what I was taught. I wasn't taught to know what I was worth. I wasn't told that I need to be with a guy who was a gentleman, who knows to respect women and be loyal. I hadn't been taught all that. I had only been taught to not let guys take (sexual) advantage of me. At that point, I didn't think that anything was wrong. As a matter of fact, I thought that it was natural that guys will have the "desire" and I had to depend on myself to stop them.

"wear longer skirts"
"don't show your cleavage"
"don't simply make eye-contact"

All these statements were said to me not because to make me look like a respectable lady but because to prevent me from getting catcalled, risking myself from becoming a rape victim, from getting hit on by creepy men and etc. It wasn't to enhance my self-worth nor is it to build my personality.

But really, will wearing longer skirts, not showing cleavage, not making eye-contact or whatsoever everyone deem as "inappropriate" will prevent me or any other girls from becoming a victim of sexual assault? No, it won't because our whole society is screwed up. From informal education to our legislation system. Everything is screwed up.

Boys weren't taught to not have inappropriate intention or actions toward girls. Most guys I know learnt it themselves that it wasn't right, Congratulations. But still, one guy in ten thousand who don't realize how morally wrong it is will be enough to ruin a lot of lives.

Instead, girls were taught to not bring out the sexual desire in guys. The reason of "Guys have needs to fulfill" is utter bullshit. Do you think that only men have this sort of desire or whatnot? Women have them too- only that we were educated not to show it because it is inappropriate. Yes, put on that face of disgust of yours while thinking I'm a disgrace for saying these but it is the truth. Is it logical to you that while both genders have the same desires, males have the upper hand of fulfilling it by taking it out on other females? (I understand that there are cases where men are raped by women but that's besides my point).

In fact, recently in my home country a legislation was passed regarding rape. Sound legit? Sounds beneficial? wait till you hear it. It states that a rapists are allowed to marry their victim. The reason behind this was because that at least the victim will be happy and at least have a husband to take care of her. A RAPIST FOR A HUSBAND? GOD FORBID! I don't know which part of their Cerebrum is severely damaged to even think that she will be happy being married to her rapist. Would they want to wed their daughter or sister to a rapist? Okay, if a family wants to wed their daughter off to a rapist, it's really none of our goddamned business and we're in no position to stop or control because it is their family matters. But to pass it off as a legislation? Are they aware of the consequences? Think of obsessed stalkers. Just think about what would happen.

They've put it in a way that rape victim will not be loved after the rape incident. Whose fault is it? Why, why on earth for the doings of a horny man an innocent girl should bear the consequences. She did not ask for it, nobody asked for rape. Do you think all rape victims wear short skirts? No. I was catcalled and scanned up and down in my school uniform which was a little too big for me for goodness sake! Do not tell me it's because I am pretty or whatsoever, it disgusts me and it makes me feel dirty and worthless. Yes, guys who catcall and do things along the lines. This is how I feel when it happens while you're laughing proudly as if you've done your momma proud.

While it may work years ago to only control how women dress but I do not think it will work for years to come because this is getting out of hand. Why not instead of only telling our girls to dress conservatively, teach boys to not do what they're not supposed to do because it is not as simple as "fulfilling needs". It is completely ruining the life of another person. What the general public deem as inappropriate and the contributing factor to rape may not necessarily be the sole cause. We all have no idea what is in the mind of a potential rapist. Just because we think that wearing short skirts are the cause, it may not necessarily be. He may be obsessed with girls who has long hair. Then should all girls have short hair? What if they get turned on with just looking at girls? Then should we be locked away in towers?

"Young men need to be socialized in a way that rape is as unthinkable to them as cannibalism" - Mary Pipher 

My point is that we should all educate children and society differently. A girl can take precautions, but there is only so much she can do and It'll get worse, this is only the beginning. Despite all those feminism campaign and all, women will still and will always be treated as an item to fulfill sexual desires. Maybe instead of obsessively fighting for equal opportunity, we should fight for women's dignity, respect and rights to be treated as a human that goes beyond a pretty face, curvy bodies and a prized possession.

I am not a feminist, but I think this is what should be done for I think women are so much more than their physical appearance and what they can provide naked. Women are the things that they contribute to society, their motherly love and all the things they do fully clothed which does not involve anything sexual.