Jiawen. C

I will stop wishing I was someone else 

In 2018, I will stop comparing my life with others and wonder why others have it better than me. Everyone's life is an entirely different story and no two are exactly the same. Wondering why others have it better than you is pointless.

Comparing won't do any good, either. It doesn't matter who travels to most country during the year, who has better lifestyle or who has more Instagram likes and followers. These do not matter because at the end of the day, you could have traveled to 20 countries within the year, visit all trending cafes and have a hundred thousand followers but you are still not satisfied or enough. Thus, leading you back to square one.

There will always be someone who has it better than you and of course, you are better off than another person. Comparing and wishing that you were someone else won't bring you any benefit and it is a waste of time.

Your progress is entirely yours and you'll have your moment. The same as someone else's progress is entirely theirs, they may look like they have it all but you'll never know what they're going through.

Appreciate what you currently have and make the most our of your life. Write a bestseller.

Drink more water

In 2018, I will drink as much water as possible because water is good for me. It promotes health and we need to be healthy in order to get the most out of life. In addition to that, water also helps promote healthy skin which is a win-win because then I get to save on skincare products.

Bring a bottle of water out every time so that there are no excuse for not drinking water. Besides, this help to deter you away from sugary drinks which means no extra calories and you don't have to buy water outside (Save, again!)

Work hard- constant performance

In 2018, DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT half ass anything. Put your whole ass in it and give it your all because you will always reap what you sow. Luck can only go so far; Talent will only take you so far; effort tops everything. Since you're already at it, just give it your all. If you succeed, you'll feel sooo good and so proud of yourself which increases your confidence and self-worth but if you don't, you'll have to bear in mind that you have done your best and whatever that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Stop giving excuses and just do it. Don't half ass it just because it is hard. Don't half ass it just because it is easy.

Stop overthinking things and just enjoy life as it is

Bad things and good things will always come to an end and it is inevitable. Again, whatever that can go wrong will go wrong so just live the moment. Each moment is all you need and nothing else (Mother Theresa).

If you're in a bad phase, learn from it and let the struggle make you stronger. It will end eventually. Although it may get worse and it may seem like it's the end of the world, it isn't. If you're in a good phase, enjoy it and never let it get to your head that this happiness is only temporary and that it will end soon. If it ends, it ends. You can't do anything about it. Might as well just enjoy the happiness as it is.

In life there are always the good part and the bad part. Whatever that's meant to happen will happen and although it may break you, you have the power to mend yourself again. The mending process will be hard and you'll never be the same again but hey, you're on your way to building your own empire.

So don't worry about it, you'll be able to handle whatever life throws your way. I know you can.

Read more (Write more)

Never stop learning. Never stop working your brain, never stop feeding yourself with knowledge and never stop imagining.

The world is constantly changing and you can't change how the world works but you can make yourself adapt to the world. You need knowledge to improve yourself and to make the most out of life.

Don't be afraid of expressing your thoughts and your heart. Write it our, draw it out and let it out. You never know what your content can do to the world. You'll never know what expressing your thoughts could do to you.

Never stop exploring the world and exploring your thoughts. Life is an art. Create your own art and appreciate the art of others.

Never stop reading and writing just because people claim it to be too nerdy. Never stop even if everyone you know is laughing at you.

If reading and writing is nerdy, then so be it. Just be nerdy.

You will thank yourself for this.

Stop expecting so much from people 

Expectations will always, always lead to disappointment. Never expect people to realize your worth because just as they are too busy observing themselves to notice your flaws, they are too busy admiring themselves to acknowledge your worth. Never let your value be dependent on what others perceive you to be.

If you think that you're a queen, then you are a queen. Nobody has the rights to tell you otherwise.

Expecting also means putting your happiness and life in the hand of others. Don't do that. Your life is nobody else's but yours. Be responsible for it and make things happen on your own.

Just because someone seems like they're nice and all that, still, don't expect anything from them. Don't magnify their actions.

Minimalism- Mindful spending 

Elegance is not from what you wear but the aura you have. Simplicity is the key to elegance and class is not trend, but style.

Be sure to identify needs from wants. Whatever you can live without, you don't need. If you keep buying things you don't need today, you will have to sell things you need one day.

Minimalism also prevents cluttering which means less cleaning and less mess. Minimalism encourages you to make use of what you have and never think that obtaining something more will help make you happy. It does not necessarily happen that way.

Just because you can afford it, doesn't mean that you need to buy it. Savings can bring as much happiness as spending.

Occasional splurge is okay, but not splurging every time you get your payslip.

Self-love 

Love yourself before you love others. You cannot give from an empty bottle. You have to fill yourself with love in order to give out love to others. Self-love is not selfish (of course, there has to be a line drawn to it. Too much and it'll be self absorbed). Those who truly love you would want you to love yourself and be comfortable in your own skin.

Have courage to be kind 

It takes courage to be kind. It takes even more courage to be kind to someone who is or who was unkind to you at some point. How they treat you is their karma, not yours. You shouldn't punish yourself because of someone else.

Try your best to be kind to everyone even if you're not feeling it. It's not called fake, it's called courtesy. It's called a way of life. It is also called, self worth.

Don't bring yourself too low.

(Disclaimer: Be kind but of course still have the power to tell people to fuck off when necessary).

When all else fails, smile 

When all fails, just smile.

Naturally having an RBF doesn't mean that you should submit to it and make it as an excuse for not smiling.

Sometimes, smiling is even deadlier than a cold stare. #justsaying

Go at your own pace. This is something that even up to today, I find it hard to practice but I know I should learn to because i'll live better and appreciate the present instead of only focusing on the future and comparing my life events or achievements to my friends'. I'm writing this not because I want to lecture or advice people; I am not in the right position. This post is a mere letter to myself when I'm sane and to all who are reading this and constantly find the need to compare their life to others.

Every year, in conjunction to the new year I would write down a list of things that I wish to accomplish by the end of the year. Most of the time, the things I write down would focus on my physical traits- lose weight, get abs, second piercing etc. While these things are categorized as self-improvement, it's not what I needed.

Towards the end of 2016, I've realized that even if I have gotten a second piercing and an almost abs- so what? Does it make me happier? Or does it help people take a longer look at me because maybe, because of that, I will feel that I am attractive. Does it make me a better person?

It doesn't matter. In reality, it's all making me miserable.

Those are not the things that I need to make me a better person- the person I aspire to be. If anything, those things only make me miserable because I'll eventually start comparing and feel competitive which is not at all beneficial in the long run. Things like that should be put under bucket list and not resolutions.

I've learnt that resolutions are things that I want to accomplish for the year, things that I need to make myself a person that I can live with. I don't need to resolutions that'll help me fit in better or finally stand out. I need to learn to live with nobody else but me because at 3a.m when the whole world is fast asleep and nobody is awake to slap some sense into me, myself is all I have- for the rest of my entire life, even when I've stopped breathing, I'm going to be in this body. I'm stuck with this persona and I can't recreate my persona because this is reality- not Sims. There is no delete button. I can't abandon this place and create another life somewhere with another body.

What I need is to find myself. I don't know who I am. I don't know if the things I say is the things I really want or I just say it because the person I'm conversing with feels that way so I just say it in order to feel belonged and to "click" with them.

Over time, I feel like I'm drowning in the sea of things I say just to fit in and I'm gasping for the things who define me like it's air; but just like drowning, I will lose air and the ocean would swallow me up until there is nothing left of me. If i'm lucky, people would find my corpse and recognize it's me and if I'm not, nobody- not even myself would recognize me. I don't want to drown anymore. I want to swim. In order to swim, I need to learn how to swim.

I've made a promise to myself to make 2017 my year.

Not because I went to a fortune teller and he told me that it's a good year for me but because I feel that it is time I learn to push depression, sadness and jealousy aside. It is time I learn not to beat myself up over things that happened. It is time I learn that I don't have to be pretty, smart or talented like anyone else. I can be like me. Even if it's reading a whole novel in one sitting or sewing during my free time. I don't have to try and be hipster because everyone likes hipster. I can be Blair Waldorf or Audrey Hepburn. I don't have to be Kendall Jenner or Gigi Hadid. (Although they're absolutely gorgeous) I have to learn to accept the fact that it is okay even if I drive a car that is potentially older than me and it's okay if my friends drive new cars. It's okay. If people can't accept that then just leave altogether. I don't need that kind of negativity. I don't deserve that kind of negativity.

For all the things that I have done wrong, I believe that I already received enough karma for it. I'm already miserable and potentially depressed. So, please, set me free now. I'll forgive everyone. It's fine, live your life.

Learning to accept myself is my number one goal and saving money for a Europe trip comes next. For once, my resolutions aren't things that my friends think are cool. It is what I think is necessary.

Let us all welcome 2017 with open arms and embrace ourselves for any shortcomings and opportunities that comes our way.

Love, Jiawen

If you don't love yourself,

If you don't appreciate yourself,

If you don't respect yourself,

If you don't accept yourself,

If you don't forgive yourself,

Then who will?
Don't wait for someone to love your scars, your imperfections- things about yourself that you can't love or appreciate.

You can love yourself. Love every scar, your features, your chubby cheeks and every other thing that you think is a problem.

You can appreciate yourself. Appreciate that you are who you are. Not a duplicate of someone else.

You should respect yourself. You survived every fall that the roller coaster of life gave you.

Accept yourself. It's okay not to have stick skinny legs, or be able to sing. Accept the things that you are not able to do. It's okay to fail. Stand up and get back on your feet again. Accept and acknowledge the things that you can do.

Last but not least, forgive yourself. Don't beat yourself up over things that are beyond your control. Or things that you don't intend to happen, but happened. Forgive yourself to move on and learn and grow.

There are so many things in life that are worth discovering, learning and seeing. Don't confine yourself to the norms. Don't compare your life to somebody else's. It is two different storybooks with a very different ending.

Write your own bestseller.

At least, make your sufferings worth going through. A bridge to better things.

I know you can do it.

Image Source: Tumblr

I'll admit to the fact that I'm a very naive person. I still believe in fairy tales. I still believe that one day, someday my "prince charming" will come. I guess turning 19 also means that I get to see the world from a broader, crueler perspective.

There is no prince charming. Only guys who thinks that they're all that and try to con people's feelings just because they can.

I'm disappointed because I can't believe that someone can play another person's feelings and not feel guilty or be bothered about it at all. Where is your conscience? Have you got no heart at all? Do you think that another person's feelings is something you can toy with? Aren't you ashamed?

I feel ashamed for you. I feel ashamed that we're both humans. I feel ashamed because I trusted your words. I trusted a liar.

I don't know why I keep meeting jerks hahahaa. I give up.

Screw all of you.

Maybe I am mad.

Who am I kidding. Of course I am. You toyed with me because you thought I was vulnerable. You knew I would believe you because I looked like I would believe anything anyone told me.

Screw you for thinking that I am that vulnerable. or stupid.

You're the stupid one.

I'm amused because these people don't feel a punch of guilt or anything hahhaha. I find it quite funny and entertaining. I was mad. But then it became sympathy. I sympathize you for not knowing how to feel guilt or be remorseful for what you have done.

You're so pathetic I can't even brain it.

Just so if any person who is reading this likes to play with people's feelings, please do leave a comment down below (anonymously) and tell me why do you do what you do or if you feel any guilt at all. I'm really really really curious.

Oh, if you're reading this (you know who you are), know that I still think you're hilarious hahahaha. I'm still confused whether to be mad at you or to sympathize you. Maybe I should just laugh at how thick your skin is.

And this is probably the most unladylike thing I can ever say but this is what anger and disappointment does to you.

"You have so much dick in your personality that I think there's none left in your pants"

(because you don't even dare to admit to what you've done right hahahaha. Coward.)

If you're going to make me a piece in your game, don't be surprised when I decide to play along.

"Family love does not always come in packages, bows or a pat on the back. But it is always there"

I came up with this quote because I've experienced it all. From a life-changing incident that happened when I was 7, up to now. I am a girl who is highly dependent on her father. Everything I do, I seek for the approval of my dad. If he says 'No' , there is a high chance that I won't do it.

Not that I don't have my own opinion.

Not that my mum's approval don't matter.

It's just that my dad's compliments were hard earned. Since I was young, he never told me "good job". I always thought that I wasn't competent enough to be his daughter because in my mind he was that great. He was a self-taught Market Trader, he knew everything from history to additional mathematics (and even accounts). He wasn't English educated but he taught himself and his children English (his children are so English to the point that they can't read nor speak on-point mandarin haha)

I wanted to prove myself to him that I'm so much more than a nuisance.

Whenever I bring back my report card, he will never tell me well done. only because he didn't want me to stop striving for better results. "Do you think a 'B' is that great?" or "Do you think an A means that you're the best?" He'd tell me something like that and I'd run off complaining to my mother and all.

Throughout the years, as I grow up, I start to see the emotions behind his actions and words. I started to interpret his words more clearly. (Although there are times that I really cannot brain or understand anything) Notice the little things he's done for me and our little imperfect family.

It's not that he isn't proud. He just didn't want me to be arrogant. It's not that he doesn't want me to have whatever I want. He just wants me to learn that life doesn't work that way- life doesn't give you everything you want without effort. (or sometimes, even with effort, you won't get it because it is destined that way)

The thing is that, it's not that he wasn't proud of me. It's just that the way he expressed his emotions are different. He is a man after all, I can't expect him to be all mushy and lovey. (actually, i'd be quite uncomfortable if he is hahahaha)

Below, is a video which I have produced with my collegemates about Family Love. I know the video isn't perfect. But I hope that you guys would spare 5 minutes of your time to watch it. It really means a lot to me. This is actually a competition which results are based on public viewing. Therefore, every view is precious to me. I'll give you a virtual hug after! hahaha.

Nirvana - Family Love

Till I blog again, x

Turning 19 honestly, do not feel that much different from being 18.

It has been a week since I turned 19. And in one week I've experienced more disappointment than I ever had in the last one month.

Some people were nice to you only because you used to see each other every day. After some time, you don't matter to them at all.

Some people who see you every day, don't even give two hoots about writing you a proper birthday wish. I'm not asking for a storybook of words or some branded item. I only wanted to feel like a friend to you as you are to me. To feel like you actually appreciate me being in your life.

People taking me for granted on a day-to-day basis, fine. I'll accept my fate that people only need me because they want something from me and not because they wanted me to be in their life as a friend and want nothing from me but friendship.

But on my birthday, I spent half the day wondering. I am doing all these things for people, to make sure that they feel like they're appreciated and wanted. To make them feel respected. To help them.

Who is doing it for me? Who is going to help me when I can't stand on my own? Who is going to stay by my side when all that's left of me is just me? Who will still want to be my friend when one day I no longer look the way I am, feel the way I am, or do what I do?

Yet, there are some people that you aren't really attached to anymore or some people who know you deep down. They know you so well for who you are that their wish and gift can touch your heart. Not because the gift is expensive or because they wrote a poem especially for you. It's because they cared. They know what your dreams are, they remember the tiniest details about you although you don't have it written on your forehead.

But I guess, it was too much to ask for. As a matter of fact, I think it is easier to put a value on presents than to ask for something that does not have a specific value to it.

but there are things which cannot be measured by the dollars.

If you know me well enough, I don't care about expensive gifts. It's the thoughts that matters. Always.

This year, I've learned - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself"

This quote doesn't apply. Do unto other because they mean so much to you and you want them to be happy, not because you want them to make you happy.

Society doesn't work that way.

Therefore I have learned, being able to make someone happy, is a blessing. Someone who can make you happy is only a plus point.

On a bright note, Thank you to those who have made effort to wish me or gift me. I really really appreciate every single wishes and gifts. You guys know who you are. Thank you.

.... and embrace what you cannot change.

This is probably something you've heard. at least once, if not a lot of times. From me, from people around you or from the internet.

This is something that I think can be added to the " easier said than done " list. Because, come on, lets be real. With an Instagram feed full of selfies and solo shots, do we really love ourselves THAT much?

Here's an answer. From me.

Nope, I don't. I don't love myself. Not as much as you think I do. I just post pictures to fool the world ( and myself ) that I indeed love me the way I am. I wish I was taller, skinnier. I wish I had skinny legs and abs. And that high nose bridge. I constantly ask myself why am I not this person or why can't I be good at this.

I want to be able to accept myself for who I am and who I was born to be. Not make myself be someone the society would accept and who I tell myself to be. Even if I got awarded " Miss Perfect " by the world after successfully changing myself to fit those criteria, that's not happiness.

I want people to love themselves for who they are and who they want to be. It's their life, their feeling, their body. Who am I to say what they should do and set standards for them to achieve?

If I can't change society, I want to change the way people who talk to me think. People around me. I want them to feel better about themselves.

If they can't love themselves, are they capable of loving and accepting the flaws of someone else?

Torn between who I am and who I want myself to be.

I'm always in between these two. This part of me wants to be who I really am- an introvert. And the other part of me expects myself to be who I am not- an extrovert.

The reason why? It's simple. I want to feel like I belong in this squad. I want to feel wanted, my existence to be acknowledged.

I tried to fit in, and of course I did. I didn't succeed all the time but I attempt to whenever my emotions allow me to.

The harder I try, the more suffocating I felt. I was tired. I come home every evening only to lay on my bed for what seems like hours but only a minute has passed to realize that I wasn't happy. Sure, I am when I'm with my squad. But when I'm alone, I feel exhausted and depressed.

The harder I try, the more isolated I felt. Isolated from myself. I may have clicked in with my squad. I may have found mutual interest among them. I should feel like I belong with them right? Like peas in a pod? No. I have never felt more lost.

I don't know who am I. What is my personality, my opinions. I rely on others to tell me what I am and who I am. And when they don't, I feel like i'm nothing but a spec of dust in the air.

I tried to be what they are, and I lost myself.

The more I try not to be myself, the more I cared about how others viewed me. I'd always think that they despised my existence. I may or may have not think right. But that's what's going on in my head for months now- To figure out how they viewed me.

I'd swallow my words, mumble them. Sometimes, i even tremble. I cared too much on simple daily conversations.

As a matter of fact, I hate this me. I'm not sure about them but I don't like to be outgoing.

But if i'm not, I'll be the odd one out. Not to mention, I am not a very sociable person.

I want to be who I really am,

but I also want to feel a sense of belonging.

Till I blog again, x

Have you ever scroll through your group chats one fine day and come across some screenshots. Screenshots of conversations you used to have with someone you no longer talk to anymore?

Because , I have.

When I thought that everything is left behind and i no longer want this person in my life, i was wrong and i couldn't have been wronger.

I can run but I can't hide. I can run away from the fact that I still miss the friendship we had but the question is, how long can I hide?

Not long.

The fact is, you were a part of my storybook. Even if i try to tear out the pages of the chapter in my book that has you in it, i still can't change the fact that you were a part of my story. It is a fact and it will stay that way for as long as I live.


till I blog again, x

I thought that if one day, if my paternal grandfather passed I wouldn't even shed a tear because I knew what he had done. I only remembered the bad things he had done to my grandmother and father.

It never occurred to me that it was my dad and grandma's fight with my granddad. Not mine. I ignored all the advices my mum had given me - " It's the adult's problem. Not yours dont concern yourself with it. He's still your grandfather and he loves you "

I witnessed their fights as it occurred when I was about 11? I think. So every event is etched clearly at the back of my mind. It made such a big impact, an impact so big that I forgotten how nice he has been to me. How dearly he held us all- all his grandchildren. Yet, influenced by the nothings we had isolated him.

I didn't really ignore him. I just didn't bother to make effort to communicate with him. I still went on reunion dinners with him and all but I didn't go to spend time with him. I go because of courtesy. I am raised in a family where I do things based on courtesy first. Manners comes first and the rest later.

I only just learned that, among all grandchildren, he had loved me the most. Maybe because I'm the family's eldest grandchild.

During prayers I had time to myself and I sat there and sort of did some memory flashback. He really did show signs that he loved me ( and my sister and the rest of my cousins ) although he hated my father.

At my times of need, when my father was busy elsewhere, he took the role of my dad for awhile. I remember during the funeral of my biological mother, while my dad was busy with all the funeral shenanigans , he was there with my sister and I. Since my grandmother couldn't drive, he took us out. And I remember too that once I had some sort of allergic reaction to god knows what, he took me to the pharmacy. He was proud of me too. Whenever I said that I had scored in exams, he was genuinely happy.

So many incidents and I choose to remember the bad ones. So much love given and I choose to repay with hatred.

I thought that I didn't love him. I thought.

It turned out that I had love burried after all- underneath all the hatred.

He may have been a bad husband and a bad father, but he was a good grandfather. I was the bad granddaughter.

Now I finally understand this sentence
: Dead people receive more flowers than the living because regret is stronger than gratitude - Anne Frank


I don't think only the dead will have a flashback on their life. The living do to. They recall the good things. Only the good. In that moment, no hatred. My grandmother, my father never did show hatred on that day. They didn't cry but it was clearly written that they were in grief. Unexpected grief.

It may be too late to realize but I do, love my grandfather.

Bury hatred with love. Not bury love with hatred.

So this is how life is? You were born, you ( barely ) live and then before you know it, you die.

Is this what they call the gift of god? sometimes wonder if it really is a gift... or a punishment.

A punishment to see your loved ones leave you, to feel the pain and hurt. Yet it sometimes feel like a gift. The gift to laugh till your stomach hurts and you think how blessed you are to be there , to be you. To have your loved ones right next to you just within arm reach.

I'm only Eighteen and I have experienced lost, and witnessed happiness countless of times. Happiness, I'm glad to witness it a million times, all my life but they say you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.. I don't want to experience this rain. I don't want to lose people I hold so dear to me, I don't want to imagine a day where there are voices I won't be able to hear, hands I won't be able to hold and bodies I won't be able to hug. And no matter where in the world I go, I will never find that person ever again. I don't want that.

Often I wish that If I need to watch my loved ones leave me, I am willing to leave them first. That's how selfish I am.

As happy my family is that I'm maturing bit by bit, becoming a girl to a woman day by day. . . I am not happy to realize the fact that as I'm growing up, they're growing old..

I'm starting to go to the hospital so often that the hospital don't seem like a strange place to me anymore; not because I need to be treated but to visit people or to hear that a family member have been admitted.

I used to sit myself down and think, why must people die after they're old? why must they grow old? Can't they stay the way they are?
It just don't work that way. It can't. If people don't die, the world will be overpopulated. If people don't grow old, then kids won't grow up and experience the adult life, they wont fall in love and have their own family. It's a vicious cycle.

I'd like to think Life is somewhat a Vacation. You arrive with your cry to tell the world about your arrival, then throughout you make mistakes, accomplishments, you love , you hate, you sin to explore. When it's time, When your 'Visa' have expired, you leave. And then, the world send you off with their cry.

Appreciate the people around you when you can. I haven't been doing this because I'm not a very lovey person but I will do this as often as I can. I will preach it and so should you.

Listen to every nags your parents give you. In fact, admire it because as much as you hate it now, one day you're gonna miss it so bad. say goodbye before you leave the house, always respect and love them more than you love your partner. ( because, I'm quite sure our parents love us more than they love their spouse ) appreciate them. Not only your parents, your whole family. Those who love you.


Don't have a mind set that you're doing them a favor by giving them your love and attention. Instead remember that you're doing yourself a favor so you don't regret.

Remember, You don't lose anything by giving...

My source(s) of happiness,

PC : Ying's phone

If you don't already know, I just came back from my awesome getaway to Pattaya with awesome company. ( beyond blessed to have my aunt as my aunt who has intentions to take me to all sorts of different places in the place of my parents who are always busy and not so fond of travelling- i'll leave this dedicated post for the next time! )

Nevertheless, after going on this trip I realized something that I have never realized before. I never expected that my interest would be developed here ( it's so costly i swear ! ) but I actually love travelling. Not love as in I need to travel occasionally and all but I want to travel often. I want to go to different places. I want to explore cities and learn cultures and languages. ( Think Korea , Thailand and Italy! ) I even think from here, I'll develop photography interest. Time to save up for a camera already! ( orrr i can bargain with my dad for his old DSLR- vintage mah )

I'm starting to think that maybe, I'm taking up the wrong course? My dad says I'm more introvert so I should be those office lady who has 9 - 5 jobs facing the computer and all dressed up. But what if I want a job that allows me to travel? Can I do that. Is there a business-related job that allows me to do so? I know for sure that hospitality isn't my thing. First of all, I CANNOT deal with people. If I come across troublesome people I'll just leave them be. I really just cannot be bothered. Or I'll give sarcastic responses. ( Thanks dad for giving me this trait ). Working in Rakuzen already made me complain how some people are so unreasonable and I've even cried once. ( Not proud ) Hence, I am not hospitality field quality. Everything will be decided if I had my mum's softspoken, understanding trait.

Or maybe I should take blogging more seriously. As a blogger, I can travel , I can do business. It's a win-win situation really. ( Like Jesse & Elle Yamada. Have you seen Jesse & Elle 's  instagram feed? ENVY MAX ! )


For now, I shall consider taking blogging seriously to pursue this new interest of mine. Planning to take up Thai language as well ahahah because I just LOOVE Thailand and so does my family and we'll go there often. So why not. Also, Thailand's Cheap  Shopping will be the death of me. I just hope this is my real interest. and not just some temporary ones due to some stress issues so i'm trying to runaway.

On the Plane to Pattaya. Suprising how calming it is to be way up high.

I need topics to blog about HAHA help?

Months ago, when I come across quotes, sad quotes on tumblr I will not be able to relate myself to it at all. I'd even think to myself, I must be so blessed to not have experience being an outcast, being absolutely insecure about myself, finding the need to be alone.

before i start, here's a food for thought -

" Do you ever think twice before scolding a service staff? If it's really their fault? Or do you just scold them because you THINK that you as the customer is always right? " 

No, you do not think twice before scolding a staff. and most customers will use the quote " customer is always right " as an excuse to scold the service staff.


Yeah you may be right. but there are times that it isn't the staffs fault, Have you thought of that?

The quote " customer is always right " is overly used. and people really do think that customers are ALWAYS right.

er, i'm sorry to burst your bubble but, no you're bloody wrong.

The person who said this quote definitely has no brains or is just inconsiderate af.

Rude service, Food late, mis-order , ignorance . Yes, you are not wrong for scolding. Nobody would blame you if you do so because the staff is at fault. yup.

BUT

if the staff needs you to scoot over a little just so he could carry on with his work, or he couldn't hear you properly, or if he just didn't do things up to YOUR standard. IT AIN'T HIS FAULT.

why do you need to scold? ok fine if you find the need to say something, can't you do it in a proper manner. politely. after all , he didn't do anything wrong.

Like why you gotta be so mean.

Do you think that you have a higher status just because you're a customer? do you think that you got the rights to look down on the service staff etc?

Who taught you that? your grandfather or your grandmother?

You pay service charge. Not " punching bag " charge okay? and you think that just because you pay that tiny amount of service charge then you can scold and do whatever to your liking?

if you think that your service charge gives you the rights to do so then please, just take away and go home eat. You easy, we easy.

Service staffs needs to put themselves in your shoes if you scold them. BUT have you put yourselves in THEIR shoes before scolding them? Guess not.

If you respect people, people will respect you back. You demand respect, give some.

Service staffs need to make sure that you're comfortable and happy with their service. Can't you do them back a favour so that they can have a pleasant day at work too?

Service staffs are human too. You remember that.

Life's like a roller coaster ride. Except that , in this roller coaster ride, there will be times that your seat belt will unbuckle so you need to hang on there tight in order not to fall. Then you'd have to find a way to buckle back your seatbelt so that you'll survive the next drop.

" I handed him the gun and I trusted him not to pull the trigger. but he did. "

By now, I suppose prom is over when this post goes up on my blog. And I hope that it was a success. hahaha yes i'm blogging part of this like a week before prom and will only be up after prom because well, i thought I shall do it when the feel is there. because people should know about this and I hope that they shall not, ever take organizers for granted ever again. I know I won't because I know how hard it is.

But first, to my juniors who plan on organizing prom in the future, here's a piece of advice from me. Only take up prom planning if in your year there isn't as many problem causing like I have in my form because they take all the fun away from prom planning.


" Prom planning should be fun ! "

Yeah, it is, When you plan on the theme and the hotel location and the food menu, Yeah, it sure is fun. It is one heck load of fun.

What isn't fun is, getting the payment. You need to understand that the money isn't for us. Its the hotel's money. They demand the payment to be made ASAP and if YOU don't make the payment , what are we gonna pay with? Ourself? Collecting payment is awkward and hard. and it makes me feel like a loan shark  and it makes me feel like shit. Everytime I need to text people and remind them to pay and pay and pay. Do you think it feels good? Why can't you just take the initiative to pay?

Do you know how many times we begged the hotel to let us delay payment? Do you know how pathetic we look? Business is Business, no money no talk. We could lose the hall just like that because we couldn't pay up.

And the next one. You know for this segment there will be no Disclaimer or whatnots saying it is not meant to offend anyone well because IF YOU ARE OFFENDED THEN YOU ARE THE ONE THAT OFFENDED US AND SERVE YOU RIGHT.

Don't you fucking tell me that I look for trouble myself because prom planning was supposed to be more fun than stress but you guys made it the opposite. YOU. Assholes.

Going around spreading rumours about how Gita is a bitch and all. C'mon you are 17. Fucking grow up! If you wanna be part of the committee, just say so! Yeah , I know we 'kicked' some people out in the beginning because everyone in their right minds know that they aren't very capable of managing. but later on, halfway through planning,WE KICKED NO ONE OUT. They pulled out.

The very best part, you guys just claim that we came in and kicked you guys out when you guys started first? HELLO! Mind you, we talked nicely to collab and everything. We didnt just come in and KICK you guys out. If we are even capable of that, I don't think I'll just kick you guys out. I'll probably just get rid of you because you were a fucking pain in the ass for us. We needed to manage prom AND keep up with  our studies. How much more inconsiderate can you get, really?

nahh you probably think with your butts.

" But you guys are the one who started a fight on your FB page! "

 Erm, yeah that. I admit it is our fault. but have you ever asked us WHY we did it? Yeah one reason was the last time he came and complain about the hotel's location etc etc etc , so we just assumed that he was trying to pick a fight. Ok, maybe sometimes we do think with our butts as well ( but not as much as you do - by you, i dont refer to all readers, just those who pissed us off and made things harder for us )

Other reasons that caused us to think that he was picking a fight was well, because of you idiots. Yeah you guys again. Gita wasn't friends anymore with people she was friends with just because of prom. the group of people who go against us is well, not really against the prom theme , location and etc etc. They just hate us. HA HA HA HA childish suckers. Do you know how to separate personal matters with business? Guess not. Well, good luck in life !

Oh my I have so much confessions to make HAHAHH. I'm sorry but I really, just have to do this. I don't need acknowledgements from you. I just want you to know what sort of things we went through just to bring prom to you all thanks to some brainless people. And NEVER to take organizers for granted.

Nobody told me this to my face. Well, i guess they just didn't have the guts to but they did it behind my back. Yeah, It's totally none of my problem if these people are strangers AND if i didnt hear it. But sadly I heard it and these people are my friends. Or so i thought they were. They said prom would fail. Of course my blood boiled! How much effort and time we put into this and you can proudly tell your group of friends that it'll fail?

Ah yes. This one more. Who cares if it's not related to prom. You don't offend me or even my friends. The old jiawen who just let people step all over her and keep quiet? Well too bad for you she is long gone.

Don't be a bunch of batu api. Don't cause more trouble than there already is. There's this person, the fight wasn't even related to him but well, this person here. Insulted my friend, which is also a part of the committee. Yeah, she did reply to them. Yeah It was a bit rude. BUT what does that have gotta do with you huh asshole. You need to insult her? What's funny is, until today, this person never apologized. NEVER. At least we apologized to the people we offended. This person? he never did.

Just to organize a prom for you all and this is what we get?

Despite all the shit some assholes put us through, there are a bunch of people who stood up for us and stand by us. And I am really thankful for that. You guys know who you are. ( just like how the assholes know who they are ) I appreciate every bit of your support. Thank you in believing in us. Without the support and encouragements from you guys, we would've gave up long ago. We wouldn't have succeed. Prom wouldn't be the same.

Also, thank you to our CUTE LITTLE circle of friends who attended. You guys were awesome.

Nonetheless, against us or not , our supporters or not , I hope you enjoyed and may this 2014 Senior prom be one of the nights that you will, never forget.


Till I blog again, x