In a relationship, it is no doubt that there'll be arguments and moments where you feel like your significant other just don't understand you. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (because I'm pretty darn free during my semester break) and it dawned upon me that despite the both of you being two entirely different individuals, you both are still on the same boat. Obstacles and shortcomings are the water which you both must work together to keep the water out so that the ship doesn't sink.

The ship might still sink despite all efforts to keep it afloat but two person putting in effort is much more effective than one person, isn't it? Imagine this, if the both of you are constantly arguing between each other and it's one versus the other, the boat will eventually sink because of all the water getting in. Why not, come up with a better solution where you both can work together and communicate? If by then, all else still fail then I guess, it isn't right.

Similarly, if the both of you just keep going at it at each other, at the end of the day will anything be solved, at all? I'd like to quote my dad on this "You might've gained victory, but you'll eventually lose the heart of the other person".

With that being said, the both of you are still two different individuals who are being raised differently and have different beliefs and habits, it is inevitable that sometimes things won't turn out as smoothly but instead of arguing, maybe try communicating. There is a difference between arguing and communicating. When you communicate, there is no winner or loser. No right or wrong. It is a discussion to work things out together. It is adapting and compromising. It is impossible to avoid issues and conflicts in a relationship. As the saying goes, smooth seas wouldn't make a skilled sailor. A little argument/conflicts is healthy in a relationship as long as it is handled the right way.

To look at a bigger picture, two persons in a relationship pursuing life together are like two players in a team. They both have their own strength, skills and through this, they draft out a strategy with the common goal of conquering and winning. Don't you think it's the same theory?

I strongly believe that two persons are an individuals on their own, they're not one. However, they're a team. They should work together towards a common goal and they have two person in it together instead of one. Two is better than one.

Don't look at it as you taking on the world alone or against him. You both are in this together. Work hard together, I believe that nobody should "wear the pants" in the relationship. Similarly, I don't believe that guys should ALWAYS pay the bills and the girls should always be the one getting pampered. It is a two way street. Do unto others what you'd like to be done unto you.

As I'm typing this, I'd like to clarify that I'm not the patient and calm one in my own relationship. I am emotional at times  and I am defensive. I am hard to handle. I am still learning.

Remember, it is not you against him but the both of you, against the world. ❤

With Love, 

Jia Wen x