Jiawen. C

In a relationship, it is no doubt that there'll be arguments and moments where you feel like your significant other just don't understand you. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (because I'm pretty darn free during my semester break) and it dawned upon me that despite the both of you being two entirely different individuals, you both are still on the same boat. Obstacles and shortcomings are the water which you both must work together to keep the water out so that the ship doesn't sink.

The ship might still sink despite all efforts to keep it afloat but two person putting in effort is much more effective than one person, isn't it? Imagine this, if the both of you are constantly arguing between each other and it's one versus the other, the boat will eventually sink because of all the water getting in. Why not, come up with a better solution where you both can work together and communicate? If by then, all else still fail then I guess, it isn't right.

Similarly, if the both of you just keep going at it at each other, at the end of the day will anything be solved, at all? I'd like to quote my dad on this "You might've gained victory, but you'll eventually lose the heart of the other person".

With that being said, the both of you are still two different individuals who are being raised differently and have different beliefs and habits, it is inevitable that sometimes things won't turn out as smoothly but instead of arguing, maybe try communicating. There is a difference between arguing and communicating. When you communicate, there is no winner or loser. No right or wrong. It is a discussion to work things out together. It is adapting and compromising. It is impossible to avoid issues and conflicts in a relationship. As the saying goes, smooth seas wouldn't make a skilled sailor. A little argument/conflicts is healthy in a relationship as long as it is handled the right way.

To look at a bigger picture, two persons in a relationship pursuing life together are like two players in a team. They both have their own strength, skills and through this, they draft out a strategy with the common goal of conquering and winning. Don't you think it's the same theory?

I strongly believe that two persons are an individuals on their own, they're not one. However, they're a team. They should work together towards a common goal and they have two person in it together instead of one. Two is better than one.

Don't look at it as you taking on the world alone or against him. You both are in this together. Work hard together, I believe that nobody should "wear the pants" in the relationship. Similarly, I don't believe that guys should ALWAYS pay the bills and the girls should always be the one getting pampered. It is a two way street. Do unto others what you'd like to be done unto you.

As I'm typing this, I'd like to clarify that I'm not the patient and calm one in my own relationship. I am emotional at times  and I am defensive. I am hard to handle. I am still learning.

Remember, it is not you against him but the both of you, against the world. ❤

With Love, 

Jia Wen x 

The things that make one happy in a relationship varies from person to person. There are no right or wrong answers, neither are there better or worse answers. These are what people demand and expect from love, how they define love; Their love language.

So, they say that "the best relationships are the ones that you did not expect and the ones you did not saw coming" and I guess that's true.

To be honest, I never expect myself to fall for you this hard. I knew that you were a good guy from the start despite your appearance signaling otherwise but me being me, I had a lot of doubts and fears. I feared hurting myself and I feared hurting you.

The days (and months) before I finally let my walls down was hard for you and I blamed myself for it but just like you continuously tell me, what's done is done and there is nothing I can do about it. Despite it being very true, I can't help but feel apologetic and what did I do to deserve someone like you. I constantly wished that I had let my walls down earlier.

But what's done is done.

I eventually take my walls down and let you see through me hoping that I am not making yet another silly decision this time. I prayed saying that I didn't need 10 guys in my life. I only needed one; My one ride or die.

So it happened.

The more I allow myself to get to know you better and get near you, I was more convinced that my fears were all unnecessary. I hope I'll never have to tell myself otherwise.

When we first got together, I'll admit that there was still a gap between us. We were still at that stage where we are trying to adapt to one another and to know each other better. We knew the basics, probably enough to start a relationship but I wasn't sure if it was enough to maintain one.

At the early stages, I had my fears and you had yours. We weren't outspoken enough with each other's feelings and thoughts but I'm glad we eventually learned that communication was what we needed. We started to communicate with each other about our differences and similarities as well as adapt to each other's needs.

It took us quite awhile to really really get used to each other but we got there. When I look back sometimes, the difference is really quite shocking hahhaha. We're more like "bros" now than a couple.

7 months into this relationship and I learned to accept that we have days which are not that good. Not that good in a sense that we have misunderstandings or "bad chemistry" with each other but I'm glad we don't take it out in anger but through communication. I am still learning to be more outspoken and attentive. We can't expect to have 365 days of good days. Like you said, maintenance is needed in a relationship. It is needed in order for the ship to continue sailing. I learned that we don't have 24 hours in a day dedicated to each other and sometimes, you can't be there for me because you have your own things going on and vice versa. Sometimes it is hard for me and it still is but I have to learn as well. There are aplenty of things that I still need to learn; to be a better girlfriend, a better "bro", a better friend and last but not least a better partner.

7 months into being in this relationship with you and although it feels like we have come a long way since 2016 but I know that there will be more good times and most certainly bad times ahead of us but I will promise you that I will never give up on this relationship no matter how hard it gets because you're worth much more than the trouble ahead of us.

We could all relate falling in love to the butterflies, heart-racing, fireworks and being dreamy. Falling in love is everything nice and sweet- as portrayed in movies, story books, and fairy tales; the thing all little girls believe to be true and make finding a prince charming one of their life goals.