Turning 19 honestly, do not feel that much different from being 18.

It has been a week since I turned 19. And in one week I've experienced more disappointment than I ever had in the last one month.

Some people were nice to you only because you used to see each other every day. After some time, you don't matter to them at all.

Some people who see you every day, don't even give two hoots about writing you a proper birthday wish. I'm not asking for a storybook of words or some branded item. I only wanted to feel like a friend to you as you are to me. To feel like you actually appreciate me being in your life.

People taking me for granted on a day-to-day basis, fine. I'll accept my fate that people only need me because they want something from me and not because they wanted me to be in their life as a friend and want nothing from me but friendship.

But on my birthday, I spent half the day wondering. I am doing all these things for people, to make sure that they feel like they're appreciated and wanted. To make them feel respected. To help them.

Who is doing it for me? Who is going to help me when I can't stand on my own? Who is going to stay by my side when all that's left of me is just me? Who will still want to be my friend when one day I no longer look the way I am, feel the way I am, or do what I do?

Yet, there are some people that you aren't really attached to anymore or some people who know you deep down. They know you so well for who you are that their wish and gift can touch your heart. Not because the gift is expensive or because they wrote a poem especially for you. It's because they cared. They know what your dreams are, they remember the tiniest details about you although you don't have it written on your forehead.

But I guess, it was too much to ask for. As a matter of fact, I think it is easier to put a value on presents than to ask for something that does not have a specific value to it.

but there are things which cannot be measured by the dollars.

If you know me well enough, I don't care about expensive gifts. It's the thoughts that matters. Always.

This year, I've learned - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself"

This quote doesn't apply. Do unto other because they mean so much to you and you want them to be happy, not because you want them to make you happy.

Society doesn't work that way.

Therefore I have learned, being able to make someone happy, is a blessing. Someone who can make you happy is only a plus point.

On a bright note, Thank you to those who have made effort to wish me or gift me. I really really appreciate every single wishes and gifts. You guys know who you are. Thank you.