Jiawen. C

 Hi there,

It's been..3 years

I don't know how many of you are still actually here or are still actually reading blogs hahaha given the fact that many has seem to already take their writing shenanigans to Instagram.

Nothing much, just randomly thought of this space while I was searching for something to be passionate or something to do because well, my life has been sort of on the downside recently. 

Oh silly me, I have been away for so long that maybe I should just do a quick check to let you know where I am in life.. Well, I have graduated Uni and am now in the workforce! But let's just put it that its not very smooth sailing and at this point I have kind of lost my purpose in life.

Which brings us back to the main purpose of me coming back here, I just hope to find my purpose again, at least be passionate about something and have something to look forward to. I remembered I really liked writing stuff in this space hahaha although now I am not sure if I have any readers at all.

So, let's see if writing blogs again will help me get back on track and pick myself up again.

If you're still here, come on this self discovering adventure with me (?)

Love,

Jiawen

In a relationship, it is no doubt that there'll be arguments and moments where you feel like your significant other just don't understand you. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (because I'm pretty darn free during my semester break) and it dawned upon me that despite the both of you being two entirely different individuals, you both are still on the same boat. Obstacles and shortcomings are the water which you both must work together to keep the water out so that the ship doesn't sink.

The ship might still sink despite all efforts to keep it afloat but two person putting in effort is much more effective than one person, isn't it? Imagine this, if the both of you are constantly arguing between each other and it's one versus the other, the boat will eventually sink because of all the water getting in. Why not, come up with a better solution where you both can work together and communicate? If by then, all else still fail then I guess, it isn't right.

Similarly, if the both of you just keep going at it at each other, at the end of the day will anything be solved, at all? I'd like to quote my dad on this "You might've gained victory, but you'll eventually lose the heart of the other person".

With that being said, the both of you are still two different individuals who are being raised differently and have different beliefs and habits, it is inevitable that sometimes things won't turn out as smoothly but instead of arguing, maybe try communicating. There is a difference between arguing and communicating. When you communicate, there is no winner or loser. No right or wrong. It is a discussion to work things out together. It is adapting and compromising. It is impossible to avoid issues and conflicts in a relationship. As the saying goes, smooth seas wouldn't make a skilled sailor. A little argument/conflicts is healthy in a relationship as long as it is handled the right way.

To look at a bigger picture, two persons in a relationship pursuing life together are like two players in a team. They both have their own strength, skills and through this, they draft out a strategy with the common goal of conquering and winning. Don't you think it's the same theory?

I strongly believe that two persons are an individuals on their own, they're not one. However, they're a team. They should work together towards a common goal and they have two person in it together instead of one. Two is better than one.

Don't look at it as you taking on the world alone or against him. You both are in this together. Work hard together, I believe that nobody should "wear the pants" in the relationship. Similarly, I don't believe that guys should ALWAYS pay the bills and the girls should always be the one getting pampered. It is a two way street. Do unto others what you'd like to be done unto you.

As I'm typing this, I'd like to clarify that I'm not the patient and calm one in my own relationship. I am emotional at times  and I am defensive. I am hard to handle. I am still learning.

Remember, it is not you against him but the both of you, against the world. ❤

With Love, 

Jia Wen x 

I don't know about you but when someone talks about gender equality, I often only hear them talk about women's rights. About standing up for women and helping them to obtain equal rights as men but if you carefully break it down, gender equality doesn't mean that.

The title's said it all; I'm going to talk about feminism today. Not just feminism but new era feminism.

Before I start let me set out my definition of feminism; from my perspective and understanding.

To me feminism is a fight for women's rights. Back in the days, women are deprived off their rights some are even treated like animals. So from there comes about feminism women started to stand up for women, fighting for what we deserve- freedom, rights to speak, rights to pursue our dreams, rights to be no different from men and above all, to be respected.

In the earlier days of feminism campaigns, people were against the idea of feminism because it has been a norm that man would dominate and women is just the weaker gender who should be nothing but a homemaker... for lucky ones. Unlucky ones would be asked forced to be sex slaves.

Advocates of feminism are strong women who knows what they're doing. They want to be heard, to be seen and to be acknowledged for more than just their physical appearance. They want to be a part of society.

Back then it may be unknown to many what feminism is. But I believe that today, it is the opposite. Even the one who has the slightest knowledge regarding feminism knows what feminism is about.

In the past, it may be Marilyn Monroe and Eleanor Roosevelt and today we have Emma Watson and Meghan Markle as strong advocates of feminism.

These names listed above are strong and independent women who wants to be acknowledged for their work and capabilities. To be seen not just as someone with a pretty face but someone with brain and capabilities which may or may not be equivalent to men. These women depict class and grace. They demand to be respected. They deserve to be respected and they represent women.

However, today, the fight of feminism isn't the same anymore and it is disappointing. It is so far different from what those women have fought for. It is a different image. No longer the same image and I'm not sure if it gives out the right message.

I'm referring to how women portray themselves on the feminist movements nowadays. I get the "A women shouldn't have to be modest to be respected" quote and I agree too. I personally believe that it is not us who should limit ourselves in terms of dressing. But a line still has to be drawn. There's a fine line between being sexy and being slutty. The former may demand respect but I doubt anyone would want to respect the latter.

How you dress is also how you want yourself to be seen, to be treated.

In the past, advocates of feminism wear pantsuit to show power and independence. There was a time where women weren't taught to wear pants, only dresses and skirts. Thus the wearing of pantsuit is sort of rebellious; it is the beginning of feminism.

What we're trying to say today is that women should not be told how to dress, but men should be told not to rape. Yet again, participants of feminist movements are wearing tit stickers, being half naked and wearing tshirt with nsfw pictures?????? Which part may I ask of this demands respect? Yes I agree, women should not be told how to dress but is that really how YOU want to dress? Do you think it depicts class, grace and elegance? if you were to be a child again, would you respect that? Is this what you want your daughter to learn? to become?

I'm sure you don't want your daughter to reveal parts of herself just so she could fight for her rights? We claim that women's bodies are holy temples which should be treated with respect but do you think this is respect?

If I were to create a metaphor, it gives an impression of cheap stock from the night market.

I'd like to quote Simon Williams, an expert in feminism.

"Feminism is about a woman's rights to be treated equally, socially economically and politically- while never sharing any images of their own bodies, because then all bets are off. You obviously can't talk about the exploitation of women, and then put a photo of yourself in a bikini on Instagram- that is madness and hypocrisy of the highest order" 

While I disagree the part on wearing a bikini because, that's still sort of acceptable(?) i don't know. But I hope you get where I'm coming from.

I know there are many different views on this and I may not be the wisest or I may not understand the exact meaning of the movement, yet. but I stand firm on my belief.

Although women deserve the rights to dress however they please without having to worry about being raped or groped, a line still has to be drawn. The way you dress shows how much you respect yourself and how much you value yourself. How do you expect people to respect you when you dress like you don't deserve to be respected.

While I praise the courage of those who are willing to wear things like that out in public, I do not approve of it as the right way to fight for feminism.

The things that make one happy in a relationship varies from person to person. There are no right or wrong answers, neither are there better or worse answers. These are what people demand and expect from love, how they define love; Their love language.