I'm not perfect. The world who does not owe me anything has taken a lot away from me and at the same time had given me a lot. For a 20 year old, it is safe to say that I am complicated.

There are monsters living up in my head and these monsters are not all wild, there are tame ones as well. I guess you may imagine them to be tiny with teary eyes and an adorable grin. They are in charge of my happiness and my positive thoughts, they let me know that my turn to be happy is finally here and that I deserve to be happy. They remind me of my worth and they push me to do things which I think I cannot do, they're my little angels.

And then, you have those who has stinky breath, sharp teeth and a loud growl. These they tell me that I am unworthy, they tell me that I am undeserving of any happiness and I should pay for all my sins. They remind me how unworthy I am and that I am nothing but my flaws. They make me hate myself and they never allow me to be truly happy. They are my demons.

When the demons come out to play, the angels seek for place to hide. They are powerless against the demons. These monsters in my head, they're scary. They make me lose focus, they make me feel weak and they make me think that I am unlovable; I do not deserve to be happy.

I want to rid of these monsters in my head, I wish they were never there, I wish I never had to deal with them. I just wanted to feel happy, worthy and not insecure.